Anyway, then today, as the topic has gone to many times among my girlfriends lately, we bagan talking about Edward from the "Twilight" series. We're all in love with this character, who even though he is a vampire, has captured all of our hearts. "Poor men" I said, "they can NEVER really fit the bill with guys like that in our heads setting the bar so high!" That then reminded me of a scene in the "SATC" movie where Carrie tells Charlotte's daughter Lily at the end of her fairy tale, that life doesn't really happen with the happily ever after.
How do I want Kaileigh to grow up?? Believing in the prince on the white horse who will come up to her tower and rescue her?? It worked out that way for Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman" right? Do I want her to be cynical of love and always waiting for something to go wrong??
Even though she's too young now, everything influences her and she absorbs it all like a sponge.... how do I teach her the right way about love????
In the meantime while I'm figuring this all out (& gladly taking suggestions), if you haven't started already-- Read the "Twilight" series by Stephanie Meyer. All the copies are out at most libraries, but I haven't heard more women in more areas of my life talking about a book in a LONG time! And the movie comes out Nov 21 so you at least want to have read the 1st book before that! :)
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I've given your question some thought. When it comes to this topic, so many different perspectives come to mind. So many of us have different reasons for staying in a relationship, as different as the reasons are for being drawn into one. So, I considered what I plan to tell my daughter, based upon my experience. First, I am not going to plant a cynical view about love. High expectations are good as long as there's some balance with reality. I want to tell her that romantic moments, life-changing moments actually happen. The difference is we don't have background music to mark those moments in time, and to help us identify them. What she must accept is that those moments don't come often. And to chase after a romantic high will only cause frustration.
I think women sometimes expect too much from men. Sometimes we don't take into account that each man has a different personality. Some seem to have a gift at expressing love with word and action, while others quietly hope their actions speak louder than words. Both are acceptable, in my opinion. I'll tell her to learn quickly how to identify the guy with words, but no action! To quote Sleepless In Seattle,..."Marriage is hard enough, without entering it with such low expectations."
One other thing, I want to teach her that love is not about receiving. If she wants a great "catch," then she will have to work on herself to have something offer that great "catch." I hear women talk about what they want from a man, but rarely what they are willing to offer him as a devoted friend.
Finally, I want to teach her what love is, and the only way to do that is by introducing her to Jesus Christ, and also how the Bible describes love...you know the verse...Love is patient, Love is kind, it keeps no record of wrongs, always perseveres, love is not rude, it is not self-seeking, Love never fails!
That's it for now! Maybe I'll add something later. This is no small topic!
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