Priorities

So I go in yesterday to talk with my boss about some changes- and I'm told to think about my priorities. Obviously- Kai is my one and only important priority in my life.

Then I come home, late & tired, and I have a message where I'm being challenged in my decisions in how often I see my daughter "out of schedule" due to changes with her Dad's schedule- and I all I can do is ache because I've spent all day- specifically thinking about how she is my priority- wow. What a day deep in thought....
I need to find a support group of divorced moms. Am I NOT thinking about my daughter because as her mother I want to spend as much time with her as possible if it's not taking away from her dad's time? Should I give up those moments I can have so she can spend extra time alone with her stepmom- who already stays home with her during the day, gets to take her to soccer games and practice, get her ready for school every day, get her ready for picture days etc.

Should they have a bond? - yes absolutely. Should that bother me? - no and it doesn't. Many women who come along in Kai's life will influence her and be role models or mentors- does that mean I get upset every time? - of course not. But should I have to give up any bit of time I can have with her around my full time job?- no absolutely not. And maybe I am just "crazy!" but I can't see how that extra time would hurt her as I'm being told and confuse her. What confuses her that I see is why her Mom doesn't spend as much time with her as her "other mom" (stepmom). UGh....

I love that baby girl so much!! From the first time I felt her inside me, the first time she looked at me and grabbed my finger, spent time bonding and nursing with me, smiled up at me, took her first step, colored her first picture-- the list goes on and on.

I know I will never be replaced. We have a love and bond that is unbreakable- but I also just can't stand by while I'm being told that she needs MORE alone time than she already gets with her "other mom" when I could have those moments with her.

I just had to get this off my chest... At least I slept well last night- but that's because I was exhausted and I'm sure that I'm right. If you read this blog and have any advice on how I deal with this- or feel I'm wrong and why- please respond.

Kaileigh- Mommy has loved you since the moment you existed and I will always love every piece of you. There will never be someone in my life who takes the bond we have or will mean more to me. You are my one and only Kailove- and although you're 4 and can't understand how deep this feeling is now, I pray that as you develop as a woman one day you will always remember back with warm feelings how deep the love of your mom is!